-Oops!
 -Has anyone seen my watch?
 -That was some party last night. I can't remember when I've been that drunk.
-Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
-Well this book doesn't say that... What edition is your manual?
-OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
-Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
-Come back with that! Bad Dog!
-Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
-Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingy
-If I can just remember how they did this on ER last week.
-Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
-Damn, there go the lights again...
-Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of 'em.
-Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
-Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.
-I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
-Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
-Sterile, the floor's clean, right?
-What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change!
-What do you mean, he's not insured?
-This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
-Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
-Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
-What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
-I don't know what it is, but hurry up and pack it in ice.
-Let's hurry, I don't want to miss "Bay Watch"
-That laughing gas stuff is pretty cool. Can I have some more of that?
-Hey Charlie, unzip the bag on that one, he's still moving.
-Did the doctor know he would look like that afterwards?
-Of course I've performed this operation before, Nurse!
-FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
-For more funny emails, go to BuddThompson.com 

Waiting Room

Two children were in a doctor's waiting room. The little girl was softly sobbing.
"Why are you crying?" asked the little boy.
"I'm here for a blood test, and they're going to cut my finger," said the girl.
When he heard this, the little boy started to cry.
"Why are you crying?" asked the girl.
The boy looked at her worriedly and said, "I'm here for a urine test.

For more funny emails, go to BuddThompson.com.

Strange  Facts about Death

1 - More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.

2 - More people are killed each year by coconuts than sharks. Approximately 150 people are killed each year by coconuts.

3 - You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.

4 - Fleas have the distinction of killing more people than all the wars man has ever fought. The "Black Death" plague killed 1/4 of Europe's population in the 14th century, caused by germs transmitted from rodents to humans by fleas.

5 - The animal responsible for the most human deaths worldwide is the mosquito.

6 - The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

7 - A hundred years ago, the average life expectancy in the United States was forty-seven.

8 - Today, only one in two billion people will live to be 116 or older.

9 - Your statistical chance of being murdered is 1 in 20,000.

10 - There are 5 times as many deaths due to the negligence of doctors as there are deaths due to firearms.

11 - On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

12 - Robert Hershey, of Hershey Chocolate fame, died when he fell into a vat of chocolate and drowned.

13 - Dr. Alice Chase, who wrote "Nutrition for Health" and numerous books on the science of proper eating, died of malnutrition.

14 - Adolph Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor.

15 - When Mahatma Gandhi died, an autopsy revealed that his small intestine contained five gold Krugerrands.

16 - When Thomas Edison died in 1941; Henry Ford captured his last dying breath in a bottle.

17 - In 1845, President Andrew Jackson's pet parrot was removed from his funeral for swearing.

18 - Robert Todd Lincoln, son of Abraham Lincoln, was present at the assassinations of three presidents: his father's, President Garfield's, and President McKinley's. After the last shooting, he refused ever to attend a state affair again.

19 - When Mark Twain was born on Nov 30, 1835, Halley's comet was visible over Florida, Missouri. Mark Twain predicted in 1909 that he would die when it returned. He was right. When he died on April 21, 1910, Halley's comet was once again visible in the sky.

For more funny emails, go to BuddThompson.com.