THE TRUE STORY OF THE THREE LITTLE BEARS!

A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning...
Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table. He
looks into his small bowl. It is empty. "Who's been eating my
porridge?" he squeaks.

Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He
looks into his big bowl and it is also empty. "Who's been eating my
porridge?!?" he roars.

Mommy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen
and yells, "For God's sake, how many times do I have to go through this
with you idiots? It was Mommy Bear who got up first. It was Mommy Bear
who woke everyone in the house. It was Mommy Bear who made the coffee.
It was Mommy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put
everything away. It was Mommy Bear who swept the floor in the kitchen.
It was Mommy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch
the newspaper and croissants. It was Mommy Bear who set the damn
table.

"It was Mommy Bear who walked the bloody dog, cleaned the cat's litter
tray, gave them their food, and refilled their water.

"And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs
and grace Mommy Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully, because
I'm only going to say this once....

"I HAVEN'T MADE THE F***ING PORRIDGE YET!!!"

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